I remember the last time I got really mad at God. It was one of those long days at home where my husband, Tim, left before the kids woke up and wasn’t going to be home until after their bedtime. It was about 4 in the afternoon and I was in my bedroom on a self-imposed “time-out.” My three small children were outside my bedroom door a little confused why mommy had suddenly stopped reprimanding them but not too confused to stop the tantrums that sent me to my room in the first place. To put it simply, we were all throwing fits.
I had had enough. I was hours away from a break and I was at my wit’s end. I was on my bed repeating the saying “God doesn’t give you more than you can handle” in my head when suddenly I cried out, “You are wrong God! I can’t handle this. What were you thinking? Did you really think I could do this?”
And then I was silent. Overwhelmed and overcome with emotion, I cried. And that’s when Psalm 46 came into my mind: “God is our refugeand strength, an ever-presenthelpin trouble.”
Here is the truth; the phrase, ‘God doesn’t give you more than you can handle’ isn’t true. Though it sounds nice, it’s just not biblical. Nowhere in the bible does God say that. The truth is, there will be days that are more than we can bear alone. But what is biblical is that God will never leave our side.
I couldn’t stay in my room forever. Someone had to make dinner. Someone had to give the kids a bath. There were four people in the house and I was the only one over the age of 5 so that someone was going to be me. A bit calmer, I remember asking God to provide strength to last me the rest of the day. I remember asking for patience to deal with the screaming that would greet me when I opened the door. I walked through each step of the rest of my evening and asked God to be by my side while I did it.
For the rest of the evening I didn’t feel alone. I knew that I was operating on strength that was provided from God.
I appreciated Tim’s sermon yesterday because it reminded me that it’s okay to cry out to God when we are angry, sad or confused. My prayer for those who find themselves in those moments of hopelessness is that they will cry out, like I did, and realize that they are not alone in that moment. I pray that they will feel the comfort that I felt and be given the strength that I was given.